Race Doesn't Matter (To Us)

Let me preface this by saying that I know that there are people that don't think the same way that I do. I also want to say that I don't mean to offend. With that being said --

Three posts in and we're already getting to the heavy stuff. This would've undoubtedly come up, but a friend's question about her similar circumstance pushed me to do this now. For the sake of easy reading, I'll do this in a Q&A format.

How did our families take to us dating/getting married? Differently. His family was...apprehensive at first. The stereotype had been planted from early on and it stuck, but not as strong with the younger generations. To get past it, I let (made) his family know me. I'm not the lazy, thuggish, baggy jeans, living off welfare, listening to rap music too loud person they had in their minds. (In fact, as I've seen it, most people aren't how they're portrayed to be.) And you know what? They love me now. My family was a little different. Up front, they were fine (Jamaica's always been racially diverse and accepting), but the older generations "felt uncomfortable" at first. Once they got to know him, they came to love him too.

Is it really still an issue? Yes and no. For some people, it still is and always will be. It saddens me to still be asked how I deal with stares and the opinions of others. (Cole's wise piece of advice - "f*** 'em")

Does it get to me? Depends on the day. I'm usually very passive, but if I had my Wheaties that morning, people may get their unfriendly stares returned.

Would I change anything? A thousand times no. Our skin color has never been a factor in our relationship; neither of us really "sees" it. I don't love him any less because he doesn't tan as well as I do. I love him for who he is. Whether he'd been born white, black, Hispanic, Asian, or green, he and I both hurt, love, laugh, and cry the same.

If anyone has any more questions about our experiences or wants advice, please feel free to ask.